Floating Down a River…
WritingFix has a fun lesson–called “Floating Down a River“–that was inspired by the picture book Daisy Comes Home by Jan Brett.
Several student writers have written and published their work for this prompt, and you can read their finished writing by clicking here.
If you have written to this prompt, you may post your writing below for others to read and/or comment on. Just type your writing into the box that reads “Leave a Reply” and fill out the other required fields.
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November 15th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
My four year-old decided that he wanted to write along with his older brother. (Carson’s brother, Austin, has his sample posted here at WritingFix) I asked him all the questions prompted by the graphic organizer, and then asked him to tell me the story after reading his sentences back to him. This is what he told to me, verbatim:
I am going down the river in my inner tube. I see kayaks, clown fish, and a tunnel with an alligator. I hear boats go teeter-totter. I smell seaweed. I taste tropical water. The water is cold.
I see an alligator fighting with another alligator. It is in the water, just going in. It has little bumps on its back. It’s opening its mouth and biting another alligator. It is green. It is angry at the other one, and it is snapping and opening and closing its jaw.
There is a red-tail monkey slapping another monkey. It is walking into the water and is about to fall. It has a white belly, white arms, brown face, brown back, and a red tail. It has white legs. It is screaming loud. It’s saying, “Oooh-ooh-ah-ah.”
The shark sees the monkey because it is looking for its prey. It is a great white shark. It is fighting with a lemon shark. It is moving fast. It has a white mouth. It has sharp teeth.
All those animals are on the island that has a bunch of people and a bunch of houses. I didn’t like being on the river because it was scary.
By Carson, age 4
Click on Carson’s name to see his picture.
November 16th, 2007 at 4:39 am
Instead of having my character float down a river, I made him “float” down a hallway at school. I decided to take the bullying theme from
Daisy Comes Home to a different place. –Dana, 9th grader
(Click on Dana’s name to see this author’s picture)
Nathan was just a normal kid. He went to school every day. He was a little above average in his classes. He was alright at soccer, and he was getting pretty good at wrestling, even though he was pretty skinny. He did okay with girls. He had enough friends. He could never figure out why Shawn hated him so much.
Every day Shawn would find a way to make Nathan unhappy. He would take his lunch money, or flirt with Nathan’s girlfriend, or something else like that. Every once in a while he would even beat Nathan up. He didn’t really have a good reason. He just did it.
Nathan finally realized that he really needed help dealing with Shawn. He couldn’t really talk to his parents about it, so he decided to talk to some of his friends. They would probably know what to do. They seemed like they always had some way to deal with problems, and they were always very supportive of Nathan.
First Nathan figured he should talk to his friend Christopher. Christopher was kind of a nerd, even though everyone liked him. He always got the best grade on tests. He watched Star Trek, and every once in a while he played Dungeons and Dragons. If anyone had any experience with getting bullied, it would be Christopher.
Nathan asked him, “Christopher, have you ever been bullied?” Christopher looked up at him from his homework. “Is this about Shawn?” Christopher asked. Nathan was shocked that anyone knew about Shawn bullying him. “How did you know about that?” “You flinch every time he walks past you in the halls. Plus you don’t seem very happy lately.” he explained “Oh,” Chris said, “So what should I do?
Chris thought about it for a moment. He really considered it, and then he finally said, “Just talk to him, ask him why he’s doing it. Then make him realize that he shouldn’t be doing it.”
Chris didn’t really want to try to talk to Shawn. He went to ask his friend Cindy. She was the captain of the cheerleading squad. She was always happy, and she could usually find a way to make Nathan happy. Nathan needed some cheering up, so he went to see her.
She saw him coming, so she ran up and gave him a hug. “Hi Nathan!” She exclaimed. “Hey Cindy,” he replied. She spotted his frown. “Christopher said that you’ve been getting bullied by Shawn.” she stated. “Yeah, and I really don’t know what to do.” He said. “Well that’s easy,” she said, as if the answer was obvious and he should have thought of it already, “just be really nice to him, and he’ll be nice to you.” Nathan didn’t think that would work, either.
He could only think of one more friend that he trusted enough to talk about getting bullied with. His friend Brian. Brian was the Football, Basketball, and Baseball star of the school. He was all-state in Football, and was going to go to Ohio State on a full ride scholarship.
When basketball practice got out, Nathan walked up to Brian and asked him about it. “Hey Brian, Shawn is pissing me off, what should I do?” he said. He didn’t want to admit that Shawn was bullying him to Brian. “Oh yeah, I heard he was bullying you.” Brian commented. “Who did you hear that from?” Brian gawked. “Shawn was braggin’ about it during practice yesterday.” Nathan remembered that Shawn was on the basketball team too. “I woulda punched his face in for you, but I figured I should let you handle it,” Brian continued.
He should’ve, Nathan thought. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with it. “Yeah, but what should I do?” He asked again. Brian answered, “I already told you how I would handle it, just hit him. Don’t let him push you around anymore. He’s not so tough.”
Nathan knew that Shawn was a lot bigger than him, and he sure seemed tough, but it was already 5:00 and he had to go home and do his homework.
When he got to school the next day, Shawn walked up to him. “Hey,” he said, “Can I borrow some money?” He obviously thought he was being clever by pretending that Nathan had a choice. “Why do you need money?” Nathan asked remembering Christopher’s advice. “Because I didn’t bring mine. Now just give it to me, and I’ll get going.” Shawn snapped, starting to lose his very short temper.
“Here,” Nathan said, “ Here’s all I have that I don’t need for today.” Nathan said, pulling out his money and trying to be nice like Cindy had suggested. Shawn was amazed that Nathan didn’t seem to get it. “No, that’s not going to be enough,” he said, almost yelling because he was so mad. Then he grabbed for the money in Nathan’s hand.
Nathan, as a wrestler, didn’t even let him get close. He snatched the hand that Shawn had lunged with. While Shawn was off balance Nathan pulled him and stuck his foot out. Shawn tripped and fell hard to the ground. He looked up, and saw everyone that had heard the argument laughing at him. As he walked off, Nathan tried to play it cool, but inside he was bubbling with excitement as he went to find his friends.
May 19th, 2008 at 12:26 am
“Floating Down the River”
By Caroline Ferguson
Age 12
Ruby was walking near a river with beautiful trees along the bank, furry animals hiding in the branches and people picnicking in the shade of the trees. She saw a wooden boat nearby. Ruby grabbed the boat and headed off into the green, blue water. There was a strong current and many rocks. It was hard to control the boat but she managed.
Ruby found a stick floating nearby. She grabbed it and started paddling along. Suddenly Ruby heard a noise. “Help, help,” someone cried. She saw a man struggling to stay afloat, fighting the current. She grabbed his hand. He jumped into the boat and took huge, deep breaths.
After a few minutes he gasped, “Hi, my name is Mica. I’m a forest ranger, and I help endangered animals.” Ruby said, “How did you fall into the water?” Mica answered back, “Those crocodiles don’t like me. They think that I’m their dinner.” Mica asked, “Where are you heading?” Ruby answered, “I do not know. I just love looking at this beautiful place with so many animals and plants around me.” “Do you want to explore with me?” Ruby asked. Mica said, “This place is beautiful. Of course, I would love to join you.” Off they went on their adventure!
Mica and Ruby passed a wild monkey. Before she knew what was happening, the monkey jumped from the tree and started gnawing on Ruby’s long blond hair. Ruby threw the monkey into the water and started paddling fast to get away.
When they were miles from the monkey, Ruby saw a helpless, injured bird in the water. She lifted the bird out of the water. Mica said, “You’ve just saved an ivory-billed woodpecker. They are so rare! Only a few live today. You are going to be famous!” Mica suddenly became very quiet.
Ruby said, “I can see the shore from here!” They paddled to the bank and headed to shore. Ruby said her goodbyes to Mica and the bird. She handed the bird to Mica and said “You should take the bird to the hospital. I trust you. Good luck.” Ruby started to walk away but suddenly looked back, and shouted, “Goodbye!” But when she turned, everything was gone, even the boat. Mica and the bird were nowhere to be seen. She wondered, “Was it even there in the first place?”