“An Onomatopoetic Field Trip” prompt
WritingFix has a fun lesson– called “An Onomatopoetic Field Trip” -that was inspired by the picture book RattleTrap Car by Phyllis Root.
Several student writers have written and published their work for this prompt, and you can read their finished writing by clicking here.
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January 28th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
A Trip to the Zoo
Mrs. Cotton’s 1st grade class is going to the zoo. They are going on a field trip to see lions, tigers, and bears, oh my! Jeanie, Bobby, Henry, and Annie are all excited for this very special day.
“LET’S GO!!!” shouts Jeanie as she runs out the door. It had rained the day before and there are numerous puddles around. Bobbie and Annie jump into the puddles! Splish, splash, sloppity, splosh! Henry and Annie join the fun and splash around while the school bus pulls around.
“All right, class,” Mrs. Cotton instructs. “Please make a line so we can all load on to the school bus.”
The children run from the puddles of water to form a line in front of their teacher. Their rain boots squeak as rubber hits the wet pavement. They file into the school bus and a cool rush of air whooshes in through the door. The kids sit in the back of the bus and Mrs. Cotton sits in the front. Her black shoes go clickity clack as she walks down the aisle.
The tires screech when the bus comes to a stop in the zoo parking lot. The students run out as fast as they can and line up at the gate.
“Whoa, class! Don’t go so fast!” exclaims Mrs. Cotton as she thanks the bus driver. Vroom!! The bus backs up and is on the road again in a flash.
“I want to see the lions!” screams Henry.
“No! Lions are boring! I want to see tigers,” suggests Bobby.
“But we want to see the bears,” chime Annie and Jeanie in unison.
“Oh my!” Mrs. Cotton laughs. “You all want to see different animals. We will have to take turns. It’s a good thing we have time to see ALL of the animals. Lets look at the map. It looks like tigers are closest. Then we can see the bears and last, but not least, the lions. How does that sound?”
“Ok,” agrees Henry even though it’s easy to tell by the look on his face that he’s disappointed that his favorite animal is last.
Soon Jeanie, Henry, Bobbie, and Annie are all happily skipping down the path. Along the way they see some peacocks fanning out their feathers. Then they see some squawking geese.
At last they reach the tiger exhibit. There are two large tigers, one boy and one girl. The tigers growl when the children start pressing themselves against the wire fence. The lions don’t seem to appreciate the loud clanging and vibrations.
The students gawk in amazement and Mrs. Cotton takes the opportunity to snap some photos for the classroom. After a while the tigers get tired and retreat to a shady spot under a tree. Their paws go thunk, thunk and touch the damp grass.
“I think the tigers are tired right now. Why don’t we go see if the bears are crawling around?” questions Mrs. Cotton.
“Ok!” Jeanie and Annie’s faces brighten up at the sound of bears. Since they were little they have always been intrigued with bears.
The bear exhibits is nearby so it is not long before they spy bears playfully clawing at each other.
“Wow! This is so cool!” marvels Annie as she steps closer to admire the bears.
“They look really soft, too” observes Jeanie.
“Don’t get too close, Jeanie,” warns Mrs. Cotton. ‘Remember bears bite.”
“Can we please see the lions now, Mrs. Cotton?” asks Henry.
Splish, splash, sploosh. Drip, drippity, drop. Rain is sprinkling from the sky and creating a small layer of precipitation on the ground.
“Ok, Henry. You’ve been very patient, but we have to hurry before the rain gets any worse.”
Mrs. Cotton starts picks up the pace and the children follow. The lions are perched on a large rock. They start to roar with delight as the rain falls harder. Splish, Splash, drip, drap, drop.
“Mrs. Cotton, I’m done now. I don’t like the rain.”
“Ok, I think we’ve had enough excitement for one day. What do you say to riding the train back? That way we can keep our clothes dryer.”
“That’s a good idea,” exclaims Jeanie as she zips up her ladybug raincoat.
Ding-dong, ring a ling; the conductor rings a bell to let everyone know the train has arrived. The children all sit on one seat and Mrs. Cotton sits on the seat adjacent to them. It is a short ride to the main gate; 5 minutes or so. Choo, choo goes the train. The children are sad the field trip is over, but they are glad to be going back to school where it is warm and dry.
Honk! Screech! The bus is pulled up to the front of the gate. This time the children are happy to be leaving the zoo. They enter the bus and sit down.
As the bus pulls in the school parking lot the rain has stops. The sky tuns a light blue and a beautiful rainbow emerges from the white, puffy clouds.
January 28th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
The Roller Coaster Field Trip
I moved every two minutes or so, each step with eager hesitation as the line for the “Wild Wacky Waterfall” roller coaster decreased in front of me. Squeak, creak, boing, whoosh, slam, the annoying, yet terrifying clamor of black iron gates sounded as they opened and closed. Greedy, dirty children were stepping through them, squealing as they leaped up to plop loudly onto their seats; pure exhilaration covered their entire face.
Exhilaration was the complete and absolute opposite feeling I possessed. Chittery, chattery, and clickety-clack, my teeth banged together loudly, as a new car would screech to a stop right in front of the enthusiastic little kids, making the line decrease immensely. I watched in horror at the new batch of kids that climbed onto the freshly wet roller coaster seats, completely ready for the terrifying ride. I was next! In exactly two minutes and thirty six seconds, I was going to climb onto those smelly, wet, dirty seats and—
“You’re not scared, are you?” my whiny voiced friend, Fredrick, asked; fresh sarcasm flooded his voice. He’d been the one who forced me into this line, well forced wasn’t the right word. He did it by classic bribery. He’d told me he would give me his twenty bucks from mowing his neighbor lawn yesterday, but only if I rode this roller coaster.
Terrifying tremors went down my spine, but I tried my best to transform my face into a mask of courage; there was no need to let my fear make me loose my perfectly, easily made, twenty dollars.
His feet made irritating noises, tap fap clipity-clap, as his foot hit the ground impatiently. He crossed his arms and glared at me. I smiled a fake, smug smile and replied in the most convincing voice I could muster up. “Me, scared?” I lifted my shoulders, and pointed to myself. “How old do you think I am, Fred?” I furrowed my eyebrows, “six?”
Of course I wasn’t, but when it came to roller coaster’s, or heights, or fast moving objects, I felt like a small child. The only other time I’d ridden a roller coaster was in the fourth grade, and I came off of it, screaming and thrashing at anyone who got too close. My screaming turned to tears and then those tears turned into sobs.
I had a horrific question in my head and I wondered what would happen. Would the end of this ride reveal the same terrified fourth grader inside of me? Would I scream and cry? Was I still that childish inside? I mean, for crying out loud, I was sixteen!
Clang, clack, cre-e-e-e-a-k, the roller coaster car in front of me stopped and the same smelly kids unfastened their safety belts and scampered out of their seats, soaking wet and heading for the exit.
“Let’s do that again,” multiple voices squealed.
Fred shoved me forward as the squeak, creak, boing, whoosh, slam of the iron gates sounded in my ear.
“Don’t be a chicken,” he mumbled under his breath. Apparently I hadn’t convinced him of my fake courage. He could see past the phony façade.
I stepped forward, and suddenly the wet seat I headed for, seemed as if it had an “Uninvited” sign placed over the chair and a big red X covering it. I laughed uneasily; my mind definitely knew what I wanted.
Fred shoved me harder this time, the whoosh of my body was loud as the wind blew me forward. I stumbled in front of the seat, but didn’t think twice about sitting down. I had to get this over with; twenty bucks was definitely worth it.
I sat in my seat and placed the brace over my chest, quickly fastening it as tight as the belt would let me, to the chair. I clasped the yellow brace with all of my might and flexed every muscle in my body. After the worker came by and checked everyone’s seat, I realized that there was no turning back now—none at all.
Crackle, hiss, thud, bang, the roller coaster groaned as the hydraulics pushed it forward. What had I done?
Flump, it sounded as the car dipped over a miniature hill and sped through a level track. Quickly, the car approached a long incline with chains to pull it upward. I whimpered quietly as the chain, attached to the car and pulled it forward.
Click, click, clink, clink, click, it noised as the car grew rapidly upward. So far it wasn’t all too bad, but I knew it was about to get a lot worse. The lengthy incline of this track could only lead to an inevitable drop; a drop to my death.
I tried to squeeze my eyes shut, but for some reason I couldn’t feel them. I couldn’t feel anything, just the soft breeze across my face as I got closer to the enormous drop.
We got to the top; squawk, screech, and then splash. Water poured all over my head. Water?
Swoosh; the car went spiraling downwards towards the earth. I was pretty sure my organs were all still at the top of this horrifying plunge of death because it seemed like gravity couldn’t even pull them down fast enough to match the pace of this car. Then, I realized I wasn’t actually scared anymore. I was actually more irritated at the water that soaked my head and some of my shirt.
Warble, wheel, whirl, I heard the car make as it reached the bottom of the fall. Then, when I wasn’t expecting it, spish, splash, splosh, water covered my whole body, soaking me to the bone.
I shrieked in protest. “Water!” I screamed, hadn’t I been expecting this? For goodness sake, the ride was called “Wild, Wacky, Waterfall”, and the seats had been wet, the kids soaked when they got off the ride.
As I spun and twirled, dropped and flipped through the ride, I realized that I was angry now. I wasn’t scared at all; just mildly aggravated. I was soaking wet and now I would have to spend the rest of my fieldtrip, drenched.
When the car came to halt again, clang, clack, cre-e-e-e-a-k, it finished, I was frowning.
“Did you like it?” Fred asked in that annoying whiny voice.
I glared at him. “I’m wet!” I yelled furiously at him; screaming almost.
His eyes widened, and he wiped his wet forehead, snorting once. “Um, yea we are. This is a water ride!” He met my angry tone and then smiled after I wouldn’t lighten up.
I unfastened the stupid brace and stomped off the stupid ride.
Fred put one stupid hand on my stupid shoulder. “Hey come on!” he said softly, “Lighten up; you’ll dry.”
I thrashed at him, but he blocked me. “Yea, when it’s time to leave!” I yelled more loudly then before.
Fred frowned and then stalked away, clearly not impressed. The soaked clomp, clomp, squish of his feet annoyed me, and when I took a few steps, I realized mine sounded the same.
“Great,” I muttered under my breath. “Now he’s angry at me.” For some reason I was getting déjà vu as my eyes began to build water in their sockets, and then I started to feel sorry for myself and cried, sobbing now. I placed my head in my hands.
With one distinct wizz of wind, my head popped up and I gasped. Déjà vu indeed!
I was reacting like a terrified fourth grader, only I wasn’t terrified in anyway, I was mad and now sad. “Sheesh,” I sighed. Roller coaster’s couldn’t seem to get the better of me.
Then, I realized that if it weren’t for the water, I would still be terrified of roller coasters. The water had taken away that silly childish fear and I no longer was afraid of roller coasters.
I decided that I would apologies and suck up that fact that I was still soaked from head to toe. It was not Fred’s fault that I reacted this way, and I shouldn’t let a silly thing ruin my day.
Clomp, clomp, squish, my feet sounded as I walked in the direction Fredrick had departed, ready to spend the rest of the day—soaked,
January 28th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
A Trip to the Zoo
Mrs. Cotton’s 1st grade class is going to the zoo. They are going on a field trip to see lions, tigers, and bears, oh my! Jeanie, Bobby, Henry, and Annie are all excited for this very special day.
“LET’S GO!!!” shouts Jeanie as she runs out the door. It had rained the day before and there are numerous puddles around. Bobbie and Annie jump into the puddles! Splish, splash, sloppity, splosh! Henry and Annie join the fun and splash around while the school bus pulls around.
“All right, class,” Mrs. Cotton instructs. “Please make a line so we can all load on to the school bus.”
The children run from the puddles of water to form a line in front of their teacher. Their rain boots squeak as rubber hits the wet pavement. They file into the school bus and a cool rush of air whooshes in through the door. The kids sit in the back of the bus and Mrs. Cotton sits in the front. Her black shoes go clickity clack as she walks down the aisle.
The tires screech when the bus comes to a stop in the zoo parking lot. The students run out as fast as they can and line up at the gate.
“Whoa, class! Don’t go so fast!” exclaims Mrs. Cotton as she thanks the bus driver. Vroom!! The bus backs up and is on the road again in a flash.
“I want to see the lions!” screams Henry.
“No! Lions are boring! I want to see tigers,” suggests Bobby.
“But we want to see the bears,” chime Annie and Jeanie in unison.
“Oh my!” Mrs. Cotton laughs. “You all want to see different animals. We will have to take turns. It’s a good thing we have time to see ALL of the animals. Lets look at the map. It looks like tigers are closest. Then we can see the bears and last, but not least, the lions. How does that sound?”
“Ok,” agrees Henry even though it’s easy to tell by the look on his face that he’s disappointed that his favorite animal is last.
Soon Jeanie, Henry, Bobbie, and Annie are all happily skipping down the path. Along the way they see some peacocks fanning out their feathers. Then they see some squawking geese.
At last they reach the tiger exhibit. There are two large tigers, one boy and one girl. The tigers growl when the children start pressing themselves against the wire fence. The lions don’t seem to appreciate the loud clanging and vibrations.
The students gawk in amazement and Mrs. Cotton takes the opportunity to snap some photos for the classroom. After a while the tigers get tired and retreat to a shady spot under a tree. Their paws go thunk, thunk and touch the damp grass.
“I think the tigers are tired right now. Why don’t we go see if the bears are crawling around?” questions Mrs. Cotton.
“Ok!” Jeanie and Annie’s faces brighten up at the sound of bears. Since they were little they have always been intrigued with bears.
The bear exhibits is nearby so it is not long before they spy bears playfully clawing at each other.
“Wow! This is so cool!” marvels Annie as she steps closer to admire the bears.
“They look really soft, too” observes Jeanie.
“Don’t get too close, Jeanie,” warns Mrs. Cotton. ‘Remember bears bite.”
“Can we please see the lions now, Mrs. Cotton?” asks Henry.
Splish, splash, sploosh. Drip, drippity, drop. Rain is sprinkling from the sky and creating a small layer of precipitation on the ground.
“Ok, Henry. You’ve been very patient, but we have to hurry before the rain gets any worse.”
Mrs. Cotton starts picks up the pace and the children follow. The lions are perched on a large rock. They start to roar with delight as the rain falls harder. Splish, Splash, drip, drap, drop.
“Mrs. Cotton, I’m done now. I don’t like the rain.”
“Ok, I think we’ve had enough excitement for one day. What do you say to riding the train back? That way we can keep our clothes dryer.”
“That’s a good idea,” exclaims Jeanie as she zips up her ladybug raincoat.
Ding-dong, ring a ling; the conductor rings a bell to let everyone know the train has arrived. The children all sit on one seat and Mrs. Cotton sits on the seat adjacent to them. It is a short ride to the main gate; 5 minutes or so. Choo, choo goes the train. The children are sad the field trip is over, but they are glad to be going back to school where it is warm and dry.
Honk! Screech! The bus is pulled up to the front of the gate. This time the children are happy to be leaving the zoo. They enter the bus and sit down.
As the bus pulls in the school parking lot the rain has stops. The sky tuns a light blue and a beautiful rainbow emerges from the white, puffy clouds.
January 28th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Field Trip to the Fifth Dimension
“Cl-clip, cl-clip, cl-clip, cl-clip,” was the persistent noise of students’ pencils against the wood of their desks as they sat and listened to the “Ba, blah, bla, blah, ba, bla ba,” of Mrs. Muffin’s lesson, as if they were trapped in a Charlie Brown episode. “Skreech! Ta tap. Squee, skwak, skurch,” the chalk screeched against the blackboard, making the students cringe with each stroke. “Drip. Drop,” came the drool from a dozing pupil’s lip.
The bland classroom was overflowing with noises, but there was no sound in existence that could counteract the overwhelming monotony that was imbedded in the room like a poison. The students and teacher alike were silently praying for something; anything to happen. Then, “brzrzrzrzrzrzrzrzrzrzr” there came a low, vibrating sound that alerted everyone in the room when they felt it in their feet. It grew louder, and more defined, “buzrbuzrbuzrbuzr.” It came closer “Buzer. Buzer. Buzer. Buzer.” It sounded as if it were coming from the window, all the students leaned in their chairs toward the sound, then away as it grew nearer, “BUZERR! BUZERR! BUZERR! BUZERR!” Mrs. Muffin started toward the window when, “CRASH!” in shattered into millions of tiny pieces. Everyone blocked their faces from the flying shards, but when they looked back, they were astonished to find what had broken the window.
A glowing orb the size of a beach ball was rolling sporadically around its landing place, as if it was lost. It was expelling a high-pitched, yet quiet, electronic-sounding “bleeeeep, bleep, bleep, bleeeeep, bleep, bleep,” Mrs. Muffin stood, immobile, across the room from the foreign sphere. All of the students stood, gaping at the object. “Shwooosh!” the orb opened like a flower, emitting an orange glow from inside. “Let’s poke it!” shouted Henry.
“Yeah!” agreed Marcus, scuffling to Henry’s side as they approached the object, ignoring the warnings of their classmates. Mrs. Muffin rushed toward them, in a desperate attempt to stop them, but before she caught them, Marcus had extended his arm to tap the thing with one finger.
“Shlepugr, glub, glub,” the object spattered and gurgled as slimy liquid oozed from its center and coated the floor. “Graaad! Swooooof!” the sides rose and enveloped everyone in the room. The class was now enclosed in the vessel, “BRRRRRRRRRRR!” the walls spun around them at an incredible speed, flashing in all colors. “Ker! Blunkity!” The walls vanished, leaving a golf-ball-sized orb at Henry’s feet, a miniature of the one that appeared through the classroom window. Henry backed away from the ball and immediately backed into his classmate, Azrielle. They both fell to the ground with a dull thud. The other students all stood, dumfounded and sputtering.
“Uh… where are we?” Azrielle asked as she struggled to her feet.
“Thunk.” The students turned around to see that Mrs. Muffin had fainted.
“Well… now what?” Henry asked as he began wandering around poking and prodding everything he could see. “Whrrrrrrrrr” came the sound from a disk Henry had just pushed the button on.
“Could you just stop it, you two?” Azrielle asked as Marcus joined Henry in his explorations. “You got us all into this and now look where we are… wait. Back to my original question- where ARE we?” The other students, still standing in a dazed huddle started to look around, taking in the situation.
“I… well I know this sounds stupid but…” hesitated Jillian, “I think that the orb in the classroom was a portal and now we are in an… well… an alternate dimension.”
“WHAT are you talking about?” Samuel interjected suddenly. There is no such thing as an-“
“VROOSH! POOF!” Came a large cloud of smoke from a drawer that Henry and Marcus had opened. Suddenly there was a large, floating entity hovering just above the children. It had a face and a body and looked somewhat human save for the tentacles, purple skin, and slightly radioactive looking glow.
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Oh. Ouch!” Came a stirring from Mrs. Muffin who was coming to. “What the h-“ she started as she rubbed her eyes and pulled herself up to a sitting position. Just then, she looked up and saw the glowing, squidlike entity. “Thunk.” She fell back, again unconscious.
“Click. Click. Prrr prrrr prr prrrrrrr unsh insh skoon bhoosh” came an attempt at communication from the squid-person.
“Of course it doesn’t know English.” Azrielle said with a large sigh. She was starting to feel pretty hopeless that they’d ever return home.
“Buzzz whirr snap snap snap.” Marcus said.
“Clip clop boom boom!” Added Henry.
“Ah, Earthlings.” Said the squid. “I thought you might be.” He seemed slightly preoccupied and kept picking little bug things out of the sky with his thirteen appendages and eating them.
“Excuse me Mr… Dude… but could you like, help us get home?” Asked a timid student named Joshua. “I think our teacher needs help.”
“HOME? Why the heck would ya wanna go home?” Shrieked Marcus. “This is totally SWEET!”
“Ah yes, well I suppose a transport would be in order then… do de do do do… let me just find my… ah yes and here we go. Bye now, kids!” and with a “Vroom ooosh!” the squid creature pushed a button on his remote control and the children were back in the classroom.
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. Owwwwwww…” groaned Mrs. Muffin as the pulled herself up off of the ground. “Woah! What happened? Where- I mean what- how did we get….”
The students sat in their seats looking at her inquisitively. She just sputtered. Finally she managed some words.
“Where’s the squid?” The class erupted with laughter. “What ARE you talking about, teach?” asked Henry.
“The orb! We were in… there was smoke! And an entity!” replied the confused and disoriented teacher.
“BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING!” came the bell signaling the class change.
“Wait, we haven’t been here for 90 minutes already…” said Jillian, “last time I looked at the clock it was only 9:30. Where did the last hour and a half go?”
The students just quietly gathered their things and shuffled out of the room. No one even remembered the class trip to the fifth dimension.
January 28th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
The Field Trip that Went Wrong (Again)
Well it was field trip day and everyone was excited. There was only 1 day a year that we got to go on a field trip and that was today. You could hear everyone rushing to the buses. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM! It sounded like an earthquake. Those who arrived first got the best seats while every one else had to pick and fight over the other ones. After we all got into the bus driver started to turn the bus on. CLINK CLINK CLOMP BUMP BOOM. The bus wouldn’t turn on. Everyone was so disappointed they started to shout curses at the bus driver that then got out of the bus and went to the engine. CLINK CLINK CLOMP BUMP BUMP BOOM BUMP CLINK CLANK WHACK BOOM BUMP and the bus started again and the kids all cheered. The bus driver went from villain to hero in a matter of minutes. The bus then continued on its course but I knew that soon it would either break down again or something else would happen because it always does. One year I accidentally set off the cannons at Wilson’s creek and it just happened to be pointed at the bus. All the kids hated me but the bus driver was happy because he got a new bus unfortunately the bus driver got an even worse bus. We were almost to D.C now to visit the monuments and nothing had happened yet. Everyone was happy until CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP. It sounded like a helicopter. I asked myself why would a helicopter be that close to us? That’s when I remember looking out the back about an hour ago and saw one I hoped I was wrong but as I looked out that back I saw it was the same one. Uh oh I thought this couldn’t be good. As I looked closer it noticed missile pods on each side. I quickly shouted to open the doors and the driver obeyed thankfully SCREEEECH the doors where open and the bus stopped. I rushed out of the bus and a few people got out before BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! The helicopter shot a missile at the bus killing most of the kids still inside. Only a few had made it out. Lucky for us there were some trees and bushes nearby so we ran and hid in those. The helicopter hadn’t seen us so I was happy. All of a sudden the bus driver turned on us killing all the kids that made it out then turned to me and said “that chopper was suppose to kill you but you made it out. What a shame, now I have to kill you bye bye.” I turned and ran until I thought I lost him. The one thing I had to my advantage was something I learned last summer that he didn’t know about. I had kept it hidden since I learned it but I had practiced enough. For those who don’t know me, I am a 15-year-old kid and I’m an orphan. I have no parents. My mother died at childbirth and my father was killed fighting in the war. I heard him closing in on me, well, I more like felt it, I could feel when people were close it was a sort of a 6th sense that I had always had I could feel a persons life force. He was about 75 feet behind me. At that point I turned around and used what I had learn, magic. It wasn’t just any magic it was necromancy. I had found an old book about magic over the summer. It was a dusty old book but I read it anyway. As I was reading I felt something stir inside me and I tried to do some of the things in the book. It had worked I had summoned an undead but I felt very drained and tired. Now I used that same power only it was much stronger. BOOOOOOM!! The ground before the driver erupted and 50 undead skeletons crawled out. “Kill him,”